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Forever,
Hello, My name is AngelaIt is not unique I spend time on the Internet and I'm currently quite happy I'm striving to be better Welcome ^^ |
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Concerning,
This blog was re-opened on 28th Dec 2009Do enjoy your stay here, if your eyes are turning glassy, after reading one of my plain vanilla posts, do feel free to leave too. Tagboard
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37
HOHOHO, AM BACK FROM TUITION. I learnt lots of Math, and just now I walked pass the escalator, saw my reflection. This is the third time I think I'm not ugly. I love my hair, my face and outfit today. Did I sound shameless? I JUST SOUND CONFIDENT YO! Haha, I have an excuse to slack in Zong's lesson tmr and I ate KFC with Therena, chatted with Shikai, Lol. And my psychological barrier seems to have faded slightly, but its still there, like I can't stop criticising guys who are friends with me, hafta make an appointment with a psychiatrist seriously zz
36
Aren't you tired of hearing me crap about my mum, yah I think so you do :> Anyway, I'm starting tuition today and I'll ask the teacher if I can change tuition to Saturday for this week cause I'm going out with Sharon! :> I hope I wont screw things up again and I want to buy some dresses for New Year :> Am really excited about the Pet Society updates and am saving up for them ^^ I hope I can use my computer soon so I can use the mystery box trick which I seldom use cause I'm always on my Mac. And I haven't started on my expository essay, I don't think there's more homework left to be done. I feel quite proud of myself, I actually had the courage to go shopping at Bugis without feeling afraid, cause I have an inferior complex, Lol. And my blog is getting really dry and my posts, jejune. Content is boring too, but new people visiting my blog, Yanning, Jiaxin and Elma, LOL :>
35
My aunt and mum apologised to me, I'm feeling better now, I've forgiven my aunt cause she'd treated me well these years, but for Mum, I'll see first. I'll be attending tuition with Therena, VanesaC and T, though its expensive. I hope it really helps to improve my maths if not I'll get angry with myself for splurging money on this. Thanks Therena and Yiheng, and I'm going back to Malaysia for CNY after all
FML
I WAS GOING TO TAKE A NAP, I SAID IT IN MY DM, AND MY FUCKING MOTHER CAME HOME AND SCREWED MY DAY, NOW, I'M SICK, I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T REST AND WORST OF ALL, I HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER SCOLD ME. NOW SHE'S TELLING MY AUNT ABOUT ME AGAIN AND MY AUNT ACTUALLY BELIEVES, THANK GOODNESS I DIDNT FORGIVE THAT BITCH OR ELSE I WOULD'VE HATED MYSELF FOR ITI was lying on the sofa, falling asleep cause I'm really really sick. Then, my mum came home. I alr told her I was going to see the doctor ltr, when she called me five minutes ago. But she still asked me if I wanted to see the doctor and asked some fcking crap when she knew I had and wanted to see a doctor. And so I told her of course, I had to see a doctor. And then she asked me where I want to see a doctor and of course I'll go somewhere near, why would I go to Pasir Ris to see a fcking doctor and she kept asking me crap questions when she knew I couldnt breathe, then I said the Pioneer MRT doctor and she asked me why I want to see the doctor, wtf. She is asking so many questions. She alr knew that from yesterday, I was couldnt breathe and I was having a fever. And last night, I woke up thrice and coughed continuously in the toilet, I was going to have an asthma attack. I alr told her last night I couldnt breathe for like how many times and she still come ask me why I want see a doctor. Then I said, nvm I dont want to see a doctor alr and she take my phone and call my aunt to complain about me. She say I always have mood swings and I'm mad, look who's talking. And she say I always throws tantrums, HOW WILL I NOT THROW TANTRUMS WHEN I CANNOT EVEN BREATHE AND YOU STILL ASK ME FUCKING CRAP QUESTIONS AND I STILL HAVE TO REPEAT MY ANSWERS Then they both badmouthed me and I left the room, then after crying outside, I listened to their convo at the door, my mother still say she dunno whats wrong with me, then I opened the door and asked her why she badmouth me, she still dare deny you know, that shameless bitch, then she say there is no reason why she want to badmouth me and after that I repeated what I heard then she say of course I say that lah, you always throw tantrums! After that I call my cousin, I thought she was the last person in this whole world who could understand my situation but she didnt believe me, ok, I'm really sad and sick now, I dont know what to do and I havent finished my hw, if I wasnt a christian, I would've ended my life years ago, but now I find no meaning to live now and after my cousin sounded so sian when I called her, I started crying hard and I cant stop You probably dont understand my situation and what the fuck I'm saying here, but if I could I want to die so that they will regret doing this to me
33
My cousin is madhaze chun says: (11:28:27 AM) I really really bored. Angela says: (11:28:34 AM) i also haze chun says: (11:28:46 AM) I hate my liyer family. Angela says: (11:28:53 AM) what? haze chun says: (11:29:13 AM) They always lie to me. haze chun says: (11:29:14 AM) I hate them.\ haze chun says: (11:29:22 AM) :@ Angela says: (11:29:30 AM) what is liyer? haze chun says: (11:29:55 AM) Lyer* Angela says: (11:30:03 AM) liar* haze chun says: (11:30:54 AM) I even hate my like to lie people Lai Wai Chan. haze chun says: (11:31:56 AM) You always won't stop playing Pet Scoiety!!!:@ Angela says: (11:32:36 AM) i dunno what you saying haze chun says: (11:32:38 AM) Bye bye(Forever!!!)!!!!!!!!!!! Angela says: (11:32:44 AM) who is lai wai chan? haze chun says: (11:33:22 AM) O~ haze chun says: (11:33:47 AM) WILL YOU SHUY UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE???!!! haze chun says: (11:34:13 AM) LAI WAI CHAN IS THAT LIAR LA!!!!!!!!!! haze chun says: (11:34:28 AM) NOW SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only this, she always come tell me she bored, then I reply then she'll say don't bother me, I'm playing SDO. I dont know what is SDO she keep telling me to play, I say I only play Pet Society and I'm not interested in other games but she'll still ask me to play other games, cousin=annoying rejection
Dad just asked me if I wanted to go out, I rejected his offer. Well, there are many reasons. I am sick and if I can't even breathe properly when I'm sitting down, how can I go out and walk around without getting out of breath? And maybe because we hadn't gone out for like how many years, when he suddenly wanted to me to go out with them as a family, I just think it's weird, maybe because we've all gotten farther from one another. Also, if I go out with my mum again, I'm sure we'll argue so I just gave up on the thought of a happy family outing. Dad looked disappointed though he said "It's ok"Yesterday, my aunt asked me out also. Probably because she knew I was unhappy with her, seems like ignoring them all for three days really worked. Mum treats me better, but I ignore her cause I won't trust her anymore, dunno what she's up to the next moment. And I haven't forgiven them both, my aunt and my mum, so I spent the weekend at home playing Pet Society and sleeping. This feeling's weird though, cause every friday I'll stay overnight at my aunt's house and Saturday, attend church service and Sunday, I'll go out with them. It'd been a continuous routine that hadn't changed for years. And I haven't called my grandmother for three weeks, seems like I'm not so attached to them alr. This might be a good thing. For all these years, I've been clinging onto them like an idiot, thinking that we could make the best family. So, in the end, I end up upset when they do things to hurt me. I can only say I've been an idiot for years and I can only wallow in misery for wasting time with them. So what if I love them so much, I can't expect them to reciprocate the same to me. PS Dad bought lots of tidbits for me, but they were all goodies he thought were nice at his age, eg, haw candy balls, sugary gummies, orange carbonated water, sour plums in paper packaging, I really appreciate his thought, I was touched even, though I didnt really want to eat them. Mum cooked one of her bland soups, but I have no idea whether she really meant it.
31
I'm feeling so sick I can't get out of bed, but I'm so addicted to the Internet, I had to turn on my computer. I thought my asthma condition was getting better, but I was getting worse. I hope I'll get well before tmr, I havent completed my assignments though. And, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA, thanks for being such a great friend. Thanks for listening to my troubles, thanks for caring and understanding, thanks for chatting with me, thanks for going out with me, I really had fun with you and I know I won't forget you. Though I've not been close friends with you and I've not been a good friend either, I hope we can still remain friends. I hope you'll be happy and excel in your studies and ballet ;D
30
Feeling a little better, but just feeling quite upset because nobody would ever understand what I'm going through now..
breakdown
I post here, but do you care?I write what is true, but do you believe? If you dont trust me enough to know I'm telling the truth, then you can leave now because I'm going to say things that you might deem as lies, today was a really bad day for me. Ok, I am very sad now and I dont know how to continue. Yes, I seem strong, I seem brave, I seem happy, but are you sure this is the real me you see everyday? Well, you might be thinking 'Lol, is she trying to act pitiful and wait for someone to ask her what happened?' This might be flashing across your mind, but this would be how you feel when everything in your life is right, nothing'd ever gone wrong. But have you considered what I'm going through now, someone who has achieved nothing in life, has no one there to care for her and a person who doesnt have someone to confide in? I will end here because I cant stop crying as I'm writing this, yes, I'm acting pitiful again, sorry
28
To A who has forgotten how to smile but only puts on a smile, cheer up ^^ still love you lotsTo B whom I've known for a long time, saw me but didnt cast even a glance at me when I waved, I know that you have many friends, good at socialising huh, but you dont give a fuck about those who are not as popular, I know I can never trust that friendships will last, but I hoped so To C, thanks for understanding me, I've never felt so relieved, love you and miss you too :> Dont know what to buy for your birthday D:
27
Yay, I'm very happy today ;DI finally got an understanding of what graphs were all about, thanks to friends who've helped me ^^ This year it's going to be busy and I hope I can cope. Which, till now, I think I'm doing quite fine. I've never felt so proud of myself. Last time when I was in 2B, I felt angry with myself because I always fail and disappoint my friends who wanted me to work hard. Now, I can complete most of my homework on time and I pay attention in class, so I feel I finally proved myself and I didnt let their efforts and concern go to waste (:
Okay, after school ate cup noodles at 7-11 with Vanessa, Weini and Regine. I laughed a lot ;D Then because I didnt want to get complained so I told them that we should be going. Vanessa suggested that we return to school and attempt our assignment. We walked it and saw Kh and Hanyu they all playing bball and we all started to guffaw out loud without reason, probably, we laughed too much, Lol Chatted in canteen, VanessaT joined us. later went out with Jamie and VanessaT for dinner. I found out that rumours I heard were not true, its good that everything has been clarified and I think VanessaT is really a very nice and adorable person! VanessaC also, she's so funny and friendly :O And anyway, dont be upset over the rumours, k? If people didnt clarify with you and give you a chance for you to explain to hear your side of the story and start spreading rumours, they cannot be trusted as a friend, so now you know who's true to you, and I didnt know my black face problem has gotten so serious till today, omg. From today onwards, I'll try to have more eye contact to people I'm conversing with and try to put on a smile wherever I go so I wont seem unhappy or emo, hope I can achieve that (: Oh yah, hope I didnt laugh too loudly like a bitch :X deep thinking
For the past few days, I've been thinking deeply about some matters,Concerning my inferiority complex, it'd bugged me for years and now, I've finally thought this out. I'm not ugly, at least I have a face presentable to public and some people have told me that I am average or pretty, though it might be untrue, I'll just take it that your comments are sincere and you really meant it (: And it is not true that everybody hates me, I still have friends who care about me and for those whom I thought disliked me, might've ignored me cause they dont know me. Some people showed attitude cause they might've misunderstood me or had a bad impression of me before knowing me better. As for letting go of some people in life, I've finally made a decision. Even though I was reluctant, I'd learnt to let go by now. We really can't be too close, I'll just make myself miserable by putting up with what you always do to hurt me. Perhaps maintaining a distant relationship with you would be better. Thanks for everything you did last time but now, I'm going to put a stop to this and forget about you and everything we've had before, thanks And I can't stand your behaviour and attitude, it's shameless and childish
Mum
I hate her, FML
demi lovato rocks
ZOMG, I FELL IN LOVE WITH DEMI LOVATO!!Go listen to her songs now :O
Alone
Everyday, I push open the heavy wooden door and find myself staring into the darkness, there is not a single soul. I pressed the light switch and yet again, I looked at the emptiness of this place, yes, this is where I live, it's cluttered with unwanted furniture, papers and other items we are reluctant to throw away.This morning, I woke up, I walked out of my bedroom but no one was at home again, I realised I was alone, or actually, always alone. Yes, I tried to speak to you when you finally reached home but I only received your mindless reply, 'mm', so again, I knew we were separated, we had no relations all along, I was on my own in this place and nobody showed the slightest bit of concern, thanks you know, thank you for bringing me here and not teach me, love me and care for me, yes, I would really appreciate it if you remembered my school is River Valley High School and I'm already fifteen this year, not twelve.
what is wrong now
What's the point of writing, "Come ask for my blog url if you want it," I know I wrote that too last time but I think its really stupid now, come to think of it. And I was reminded because I just saw one of my friends do thatAnd to you, I finally know you're never really cared about me, you didnt even apologise and all you care about is yourself, yourself and yourself. When I'm down in the dumps, you dont make an effort to comfort, advise and care either, so why am I still friends with you? And to you, I really can't get the message across so why dont you solve it yourself since you don't get what I mean?! And thanks Sharon, Yanning, Amanda and Kh ^^
21
STOP THINKING, OKAY I'M NOT UGLY, I'M NOT UGLY, I'M NOT UGLY,but I still am,
20
Mum told me to add Julia at Facebook today, why did she tell me to do that? I looked at her pictures and felt my heart twist inside, it twisted bitterly, I looked at my reflection in the mirror today and I was almost about to cry, I'm getting mad, I don't have the courage to attend service at church tmr, it's like, everyone is so good looking and they all dress up so well, but me, I look like an ugly, dull hag with cheap clothes D; God, please help me to be brave, or maybe, just stop thinking about such questions
disappointed
I was really disappointed with you today, are friends really still there in times when you need them or do they remain indifferent about your troubles and not do anything to save you in distress? I really want to know the answer, I don't know if you're true to me, many advised me to stop being friends with you but I carried on because I thought it was strong, is it still the case? I don't know yet, but now it seems like the answer is surfacing, you say I've changed, but I think you were the one who changed, or maybe, I just didn't know you well enough..
18
I have to get a life,I've been viewing pictures of pretty girls at FB and afterwards, I'll feel more and more inferior, Why can't I look as pretty as them? Why can't I live my life like them? But these questions don't help at all, they just make me feel ashamed to face anyone. Can this stop? When will I stop?Perhaps one day, I'll stop. I hope that day is nearing soon..
17
Sorry everyone my posts are getting jejune, I don't have anything to post about, my life is so dull and nothing special ever happens, so yah, thanks if you're still coming to read but probably I won't update frequently, in the meantime, catch up with me at Facebook cause I spend most of my time there ;D
16
Aha, bet nobody'd ever came around here this weekI was really a bitch today in class and I really regretted it, I said stupid things and I attitude MrChoo, sorry 3I, I went too far today D;
15
I don't wnna lose my friends, I hope I'm not annoying any of them, I want all of you to be still here with me, shit, I just thanked my friends, I thought I've changed my mindset but I still have an inferior complex, I don't know why I'm being so annoying now..
GraceFun regrets
Read her latest post at gracefun.onsugar.comShe deleted all the attitude crap she wrote about herself,
She even admitted that she didnt try to fit in at first, and she shouldn't have judged people too quickly, Lol, she even regretted, My, I seriously don't know what to say :0 NPCC
I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE, FML
Stop whining
Don't we all hate people who act big?This post is for my classmate who acts big on her blog, You see, I've been visiting a few blogs these days, And I chanced upon this blog which belongs to one of my classmates, who perpetually claims that she spends her time blogging, Here she is, scolding us on her blog, Well, lets see what she has to say about us, On the title of the blog, she says she loves everything, except for most of the people in my class, Carries on with lame shit everyday, whining on and on about her class, complaining about her classmates and scolding two losers on her blog, I seriously don't care who you're scolding, but one of them is my friend, IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY, YOU CAN COME FIND ME, DONT ACT BIG ON YOUR BLOG AS IF YOU GOT ATTITUDE,YA AND DONT YOU DARE BLEAT ABOUT 3I, CAUSE YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT This girl allegedly claimed that she tried to fit in to 3I, but epic failed, Oh dear, I feel so sorry for you, But I've never seen you trying to fit in, did you open your mouth to speak? did you give that kb face, enough to make someone who just walked by you slap you? did you roll your eyes when we smiled? Or maybe, you just didn't try hard enough, Since you love your class so much, then dont enter our classroom, You dont say we have cliques in our class, IF YOU WANT TO BOND THE CLASS, JOLLY WELL BE SOMEONE SOCIABLE Dont say YAY when you dont have to see us, You think we wanna see you? Sorry, but we don't. You not happy, come find me, Angela Bong from your class. No wonder you love blogging so much, since you have no place to act big, here is the place where you have complete sovereign I'll continue to read your posts, I'll see if you continue insulting us, Bitch, get a life, seriously, For the first few days, it might be tough But one week has passed, just accept reality and stop complaining, and your face, just tear it down, Grace Fun, you're not someone fun
11
Hi, it has been long since I updated,Today me and Jiaxin had been chatting in the library and my classmates are funny! That day I thought only I heard Khoonhwee's comment, I didnt know Jiaxin heard too! It was about the clocks and Khoonhwee said 'Follow the grandfather clock." Lollll, its really funny can, Kelvin also very amusing, I see his face I will laugh cause his actions and his face are certainly amusing, We all think he looks like a lizard! Ang Weixuan sprayed deodorant today, Lollllll Erica was lost and I laughed at her when she tried to make us join her group, ahaha I hope Mr Choo won't move out of the track and talk to us, Miss Qiao too
10
If I'm watching Bollywood movies, I'll always make sure I'll turn the volume louder Anyway, currently I like, Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte, Khudaya Khair and Marjaani ;D I found that I'm actually in E Lit, what should I do with the Geography textbook?
09
I shut up when you scold me, even when I'm not fully wrong,You think you're right every time so I shut up just not to make matters worse, I try to salvage the situation, but there you are, always giving me shit, I'm tired of quarreling with you, maybe we should just take a rest from each other. And when I keep quiet, don't think I'm afraid of you and I'm admitting my mistakes, bitch. That bitch wants to argue with me over trivial matters, and scolds me like a mad dog, You're getting from bad to worse and if you dont stop now, You have to see a psychologist. Why do I have to see you always? DONT THINK YOU'RE RIGHT IF I DONT SAY ANYTHING, IT MEANS THAT EVERYTHING YOU SAID WAS UNREASONABLE. AND PLEASE STOP ACTING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE,YOU BITCH YOU HATE ME TO THE CORE Bitch is my Mum
08
Concerning Sharon's tagI typed out my post in parts cause I was afraid it might look weird in long sentences like this and if there were lots of words lined together, everything would be in a mess and this might make the post confusing. So I decided to type them out in parts so it's easier to read. And if I had spelling or grammatical mistakes, I can amend them immediately. Anyway, I've decided, if you all want me to write in full sentences like this, I will. So tell me if you'd prefer me to write in parts or full paragraphs, thanks :D Leave your answer on the tagboard. 07
This post is about Michael Jackson,Well, now I admire him (: Of course, it's not because of his sudden fame after his death. I know after MJ left, his songs were a hit among Malaysians. And when his songs were all the rage, I haven't learnt to appreciate them yet. Now, I think his songs have a good rhythm, In downtempo songs, he's voice is soothing and tranquil, you know, like its pure and serene. In songs with a pulsating beat, his voice pauses with the beat. And in fast songs, you can feel the strength of his voice. Anyway, sorry Michael Jackson, I thought that you were a scary freak, maybe you cannot hear what I'm saying now, but I really think you're a nice guy. My favourites from MJ, Man in the Mirror, Billie Jean, Remember the Time. Bye And I fell in love with his songs, when I was staying in Malaysia.
06
I viewed the photos of our trip just now, at Sharon's blog.The pictures were mementos of our trip, they can be kept as souvenirs in memory of our night, Thanks Sharon, for not flaring up, If it was last time, you might've gotten angrier. Thanks Regine and Therena, we had lots of fun! And in the whole, It was pleasant! ;D Sorry for screwing things up, at the start and at the end D; ** Here are a few songs I've been listening to, for this week, So Happy I Could Die-Lady Gaga Monster -Lady Gaga Here We Go Again -Lady Gaga feat. Pixie Lott Here We Go Again -Demi Lovato |